Hello, I blog about random stuffs, about my daily happenings in life and sometimes they even make no sense but this is how I express my thoughts and feelings through simple words.



• shadows
• have courage
• confident
• resolutions
• You
• Priorities.
• rock bottom - not yet
• my friend
• sunrise
• Reflection -

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”

- Master Yoda

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, 'I will try again tomorrow.'” 

- Mary Anne Radmacher Todo

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” 

 ― Mohadesa Najumi

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it.” - Muhammed Ali

I've been thinking I should set some goals for myself this year because 22 is my favourite number and we only get to be 22 once right?

• First up we will have sky diving because that has been one of my top bucket list to do since forever.
• Finish up my personal portfolio site because it has been collecting cobwebs since 2014. (I'm such a major procrastinator for real, I mean 1+ year and my website still isn't revamped? What am I doing seriously)
• Read more than 5 books, any book genre whether it's a design book, history, crime, just any genre.
• Aim to be less careless in my design works.
• Manage my sleep schedule. Lol what kinda aim is this right? But yeah I've major issues with insomnia, sleeping at 7am and waking up at 9am for work = not a healthy sign.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

Happy heart's day to everyone and to the ones I love, the ones I missed, the ones I lost.

“Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.” - Laura Vanderkam

Priorities.

Good read. Just a simple yet effective way to re-evaluate the way we think.

“The only good thing about hitting rock bottom is that it can't get any worse. When you hit rock bottom, you have nowhere to go but up.”

Starting new year of 2016 with a state of high temperature. Basically, a super high fever of 38.8 degrees for 5 days. I was so zoned out by it that I couldn't focus properly even after I've recovered. And I was still in the mourning stage for my dearest companion that just left me on that Christmas day.

My head was dizzy for the following weekend that I couldn't sit down at dinner without having the urge of wanting to puke. Not to mention that my lovely monthly period decided to visit me during my fever days, everything is simply just swell. I'd like to believe it's could have been because all the bad things that has happened recently, it is just detoxing all the "negative energy" from within.


// Don't get lost amidst of everything, I tell myself. Pick up your knees and push. Push a little bit harder and farther. Don't push your heart, as it won't heal as fast. Though, push deeper because you could love again.

Always remember, not always where you must be but where you will need to be. On a lookout, at the beach or maybe even just near the windows or sit on a bench at the park. Think about a place where you share your mornings and nights. Think about the lazy days, holding hands and even the kisses. Push yourself to think of the new things, the new days and not compare it to the old. Think about what will make your loved ones' days better. Even your own days better.

I cannot be anymore grateful for my dearest sister, family, boyfriend and best friends that has been there for me and each other throughout the sad & depressing period at the end of 2015.

Don't forget to fill up the hole or crack in your heart. With respect & love for yourself and the people around who have made you. Trust yourself and eventually through the way you think, feel, you will learn more and make yourself proud. Be proud of yourself. Live and also through the struggle, don't forget to enjoy it and run till you're tired.

Don't get lost.

“I am strong because I've been weak. I am fearless because I've been afraid. I am wise because I've been foolish.”

"And so I said “Good bye” to you as I walked in through the door never thinking of the time when I’d see you no more. But if I had known that on that day our time was at the end I would have done things so differently, my forever friend."

I miss you so damn dearly my beloved furry companion. My heart is so broken. I didn't even know losing a dog for the first time in my whole life could be this heart wrenching. Still in so much pain.
The whole family misses you so much. We cry wherever we go and whenever we see any small thing that instantly remind us of you, these tears just won't quit flowing. 



I love you and miss you dearly forever i swear. Thank you for your unconditional love.
I hope you're even happier and at peace in doggy heaven now.

"The sunrise, of course, doesn’t care if we watch it or not. It will keep on being beautiful, even if no one bothers to look at it."

--

This is such a deep thought. I have always wondered sometimes why did God create imperfect humans. Why was it unfair?

But on reflection,  if He wanted to create a perfect human it would have been easy. However will you ever want to live like a robot? You want to be a person like that with no control over what you can do or feel?

I rather be a person who can hate or oppose God but because of his greatness, I will return & worship.
He makes us with moral capabilities to have freedom.

if I ask you to tell me what do you love,
how long would you go on and on before you say "I love myself"?

at least i could have said that I've tried.

Looking forward to new things, new chapters and starting afresh.
We can never foresee the future hence we shall let the future unfold itself and let nature runs it course.


:)

They sure weren't kidding when they said working life is not easy.

I love design, I really do. I love making interactive things and making designs layout work.
But god damn it the clients will be the death of me.

Last minute comments, last minute changes just 2 days before the deadline and expect a whole new work within 1 day. A lot of boiling comments inside me but I can't voice it out to my boss as well?? Sigh.

To be honest I expected a lot more from what's happened. - inside mental note -

Awake at midnight now because I probably won't be getting much sleep tonight all thanks to this last minute work.

I should be thankful that my boss declared work-from-home day but I'm really not enjoying it at all. In fact, it's worst then me going to work. I'm practically working from 10-10pm everyday. If I'm in the office, at least maybe I can "run"... ahaha but at home, I'm basically 24/7hr beck & call to do work.... :(((((

Maybe I should start having positive thoughts - On the bright side, I don't have to leave the house everyday and face the horrible haze that cause my skin to have rashes. And I get to shower and have lunch at whatever timing!! Plus with the companion of my friendly chihuahua :)))

Readers, positive thoughts really help. :)

--


Movies I really do want to catch after I'm less burdened by work.

• The Martian
• Everest
• BAT MAN VS SUPER MAN, Dawn of Justice!!! - I wonder how the movie will end? Will it be the same as comics or as the cartoon plot? So frigging excited!!!!!!!!!!
• The Hunger Games - Part 2
• Maze Runner - Scorch Trials
• Pixels
• The Intern

// People think I'm crazy for travelling so much and spending so much money on it. But they don't see what I see. I know saving up for future is important, but time is always more important than money. We need to have balance. In this whole universe, the most important essence to a human is not just having resources but the need to have more time. I may burn a hole in my pocket again but at least when I look back, I will never have a "what if I just went on that trip" regret kind of feeling. I will look back and be glad that I let myself explore and see what's out there instead of being trapped inside a cubicle working all the time.


Good night dreamers.

我心越蕩..

Work has been great lately. It has been some time now since I started working in this new environment. I'm really glad that I decided to start off working in a private small design firm first.

The amount of hands on work I get is really very challenging and for a junior like me, I can get so busy that sometimes I feel like I'm doing a creative director job. It's a love-hate relationship. I love it because whenever my works get approved by director or client, the accomplished achievement feeling I get once again like during my school days.

I'm very grateful for an amazing mentor aka my director. Any mistakes I made, he would correct me and give me his best advice. I must say so far he is the best mentor I've ever had in design, which is why I'm so thankful for all the challenges and work I get to do because he entrusts the design to me. Once in a while it can get slightly overwhelming with last minute deadlines from client as usual and it's OT times all over again. But, worth it.


- in other news-


I FINALLY GOT MY BRACES!!!!
I think it has been 4-5 years since i started saying "I think I need braces" to "I really want braces" and now finally I finally got it.

It took me so long because of many issues preventing me from getting so. Like partly was my parents didn't understand why I need it because they all have straight teeth so they didn't understand how it was like from my perspective to have certain crooked tooth which makes me insecure. IT TOOK ME SO LONG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TOUGH IT WAS TO CRACK IT INTO THEIR MIND.

Another factor was also, I was young and didn't understand the pain limit the braces would cause. I was afraid it would affect my studies. Even during my diploma years, I delayed getting it as I was afraid it would affect my internship and final year. Silly me because yes it's sore but it wasn't something that I wouldn't get over with.

But now that I'm graduated and finally got it on - it was all worth it in the end. Better late than never?
Well, now looking forward to the day I can get it off!!! Which is another 2 years but time files and I'm sure I will have a small random pop up thought of this blog post in the future of me talking about this.

I bled like crazy amount of blood LIKE a lot that I had to make extra trip back to the dentist to check it out because my braces extraction for a tooth wouldn't stop bleeding after 3 days?!?!?! Really freaked me out but it's all ok now :)

I can only wait patiently now for the next few months to start seeing the transition take place. Good bye to my half crooked tooth forever!!! I forgot to take a before picture, before putting on my braces but I've been faithfully taking photos almost everyday just to remember the moments. Especially for all the pain that it will put me through.

Time to head to bed - good night dreamers.

I desperately need a new macbook.

It has been about 3-4 years now with my old one? It's working well still and the battery is pretty good because I replaced it with a new one recently. BUT the ram is only 4GB and I have to use programs like photoshop, indesign + etc everyday for my new job now.

Considering to buy a new one but I'm not sure if I should get 13-inch or a 15-inch one. For design of course preferably getting a 15 inch one sounds more.. idk.. better? Like the display is wider and obviously the processor is faster. But lets get straight to the point - obviously I'm lazy and I want a lighter macbook DUHHH. :)))

Well back to the daily grind - aka design werk!! :)

Counting down the last few weeks I have here before I quickly get out of this part time job...

Really been very thankful for a lot of things in my life recently.
Just even small things. That small space for me to hop on the train, managing to wake up when my alarm didn't go off, good lunch with nice colleagues, getting just small good deals with my friends while shopping, getting that last ice cream, almost getting hit by a car but was lucky to avoid it.

Like I totally honestly didn't even feel so bad when I recently had a high fever of 39 degrees. Like all I could think about was just good positive things that happened to me.

In other news - July my birthday month is almost here!!!!


///// 
On a slightly negative side note - I super hate it when someone tells me "never mind la your boyfriend can pay/do this and that for you" or like "your boyfriend rich la".

Firstly, his family might be but that doesn't mean he is. He's also all grown up, independent and stopped taking allowance from his family. And whilst he's part time working and "studying too, he doesn't earn like a lot of $$$$$ that kind. 

We sometimes even just stay home and eat maggie mee and I still like it anyway. It's not always all expensive food, he's a chef and with whatever ingredients he has, he always aim to make it as nice as possible even if it's just maggie mee for me.

I fucking hate it when people say just borrow money from him la or ask him do this and that. He's not my personal chaffeur and he is not my ATM. He's my boyfriend.

Like I always feel damn bad to even ask him whenever I needed some urgent cash from him. And last of all, it is NOT what boyfriends are there for. NOT ATMs and NOT a chauffeur. 

He's there to catch me if I'm ever weak, he's my pillar of support, he's my boyfriend.

my current job hasn't been super pleasant.

well the fact that my manager is ...............?/a??

I for one, am glad that I'm only a part timer for this.

I got offered a full-time job and had a pretty good offer so am going to keep this good offer thing a little more quiet as I just don't feel comfortable sharing my personal job $$$ stuffs.

But I'm super pleased with the requested offer I managed to negotiate and got it as soon as the interview was over. It's of course not all about the $$$$ but also because I think that was the most casual friendly/ with jokes inside kind of interview ever?? Like it was so relaxed, there were snacks + drinks and just casually talking + sharing as if it was just one of those meetings before.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE TOTALLY IMPT OK
So I just hope this good feelings and vibes stay the same even after joining this new team! Looking forward to this new beginning in August!! :)

Realised my 2015 has been nothing but fucking crazy hectic.

FYP madness.
Design show
IT show
Overload of outings and dates
Phuket overseas trip with BFFs
Graduation sob sob
HK trip!!!

Now preparing for my 21st birthday + entering into my new job soon + preparing for another overrseas trip!

:')))

May has been a crazy month with my overseas trip but June has also been a fulfilling month for me so far.

I'm enjoying every single minute of my June besides work of course, my weekends has been very fruitful.

Looking forward to all my June weekend adventures!!!

Yesterday was a great day. Spend the whole day @ the Singapore zoo & river safari.  Courtesy of free tickets and free lunch from a lovely person of course.

Night movie to watch Jurassic World!!! Fucking love it, it was such a great action intense movie. Jurassic truly lives up to its name. It lived up to its expectations. SO MUCH FEELS. I definitely will look forward to another movie if they ever do make another one or even a sequel to it.

So I'm suppose to be planning my 21st birthday but i'm so fucking lost like the only thing I know what to get is a damn cake.

I see many of my friends have like catering, decorations, balloons that look like they have 5000 in one place, a photo booth etc???

All i want is a pretty red velvet cake, a plain white wall to take photo selfies w my loved ones with some balloons by the side and a decent table that has decent food on it......

well we will see till then....

so when i was in HK, i bought like a bunch of new facial stuffs. Like I never own a toner before or a face essence thing... Till a good friend recommended me to get them.

And the results were that I SUPER LOVED it!!
I start using Clarins cleanser & their toner(green bottle-for oily skin aha), plus Laniege eye cream, face water bank essence and their new water sleeping mask which you apply on your face then sleep w it throughout the whole night.

Not to mention all my face masks that I bought from there too. I think this is the first time ever that I spent this much on facial products. I can't imagine those celebrities or high end bloggers that use like 13 products on their face everyday??

I've been religiously using my cleanser + toner + eye cream + face essence and I feel like it's a lot already.. Oh yes and I super mega love using the Laneige BB cushion as well!! I've never used such a great foundation before with such good coverage. It's truly worth the $$.

On my next list of facial stuffs that I want to get is most probably to try Clarins exfoliating cleanser +  buy more of Clarins toner and their face essence because it has only been 1 month+ and my toner is like half empty already!!


Just totally spazzing about all these new products + spazzing about everything this week.
Good vibes only, good vibes. :)

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